happy or sad

i hate myself sometimes. 

i think i love people too much.

to be apart from those people will never be my choice. it hurts too much to let go.
but if we do, i would be awfully sad. very sad that i would cry and i don't cry that much. but i did. i cried my eyes out.

sigh.

to think of all the memories that we had. the usual feeling that we had everyday. my on earth would i want to let go of all that? no reason. but i can't change the fact that we're no longer together. the feeling's gone  and i wont be the same after.

sigh.

sad days to come huh?

well, it used to be like that whenever my mind went flying back to the happy days. sad and tears. eventually. i could only think of something that would make me sad and honestly, now, i'm tired of it.
seriously. yes, it hurts to be apart but i can do nothing until we meet again.

and what up with the sad stuff? aren't there any happy memories to recall? no? of course there is.

when i started to think of the happy times together, the feeling changes. we had a great time together and now we're taking a break. soon, maybe, we'll see each other. what's the different? it will be the same smile, the same laugh,  the same stuff we did together right?

i mean, there will be that time. the time where we will feel the same again deep down even though we're not the same anymore and we've met different people and have different way of life. with all that differences, we have the same memories. so what's the big deal?

fuh.

i guess, i'm no longer sad. yay.

i can't wait to meet all of you again. even if it's just a minute. of less than that.


see you