once you know that your heart is not feeling well and you feel as if there is something wrong with everything, you're getting further away from Allah.
yes, that is what i'm feeling now.
i know and i hate it. i'm not saying that i'm giving up because i know that this is one of His test to see if i'm really that serious. if i really love Him.
every evil step i choose to take is a thousand steps away from Allah. it's too painful.
i want to shout out that 'i don't know what to do' but i can't because i know what i did and i know how to try and fix it. i know.
the most painful part is when i ask Allah to help me but i'm not even trying.
i do know what to do.
i do know what not to do.
i do.
i just..
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