dear you

looking at you made me think of the steps that i took that made me who i am today. true, you were just a fragment of my memory but the impact was not. what i felt before was still here in me and i remember them every time i look at you.

dear you, you might not be the best person for me to keep around forever, but you were the right person that i need for me to be what i am today and for that, i thank you. 

for all the pain that i have caused, for all the tears that i made fall, for all the heart i have broken, and for all the love that i have thrown away, i want you to know that i was young and i made stupid decisions. but that decision was not to abandon you or to hurt you. it was, really, to step into something new and to feel love. 

but i was scared so i pulled myself out.

i'm sorry.

i hope i'm not alone in this journey. i hope that you have learnt something too. even though the things that you've learnt is to not approach someone like me, i would still be happy.

just sitting here with my eyes close, thinking of the past made me calm because i know that if i went through that again, i would be fine.


whoever you are, you are still part of me. even if it's just a tiny bit of me.