TODAY:

hello. assalamualaikum.

i'm big. grown. and 18. finally.

i don't really see that this age fits my personality or my body. i never feel that way. ever, since i was little. i guess i think too much and too far. i care too much about my future and how i want everything to be precise later when i archive it. yes, i thought about every single thing. what i want to be, what will i do next, what type of house that i want and even what type if guy that's suitable for me. in a very detail list. very.

i'm happy that i'm growing up. alhamdulillah ^^

for all we know.

i just realize something just now. i realize that i can't have everything i want or at least what i thought i would get. i mean, how should i know what my future would be? i thought i would get what i hoped for but maybe Allah have something better for me. or more suitable, maybe? who knows.

but i'm just a human being. i kept on hoping for the same thing over and over again and i guess, for me to let go of that hope would be hard. i have to see with my own eyes that it's not for me to keep that kinda hope. i just got to get something else to hope for. it's just plain hard.

i'm a dreamer. yes, i am. since i was small. i never stop dreaming and usually it's not something that would ensure me a bright future. just a simple dream that maybe everyone dream of. that is, to be loved. i know that sound stupid coming from me. but if only you know me, you would understand why love is that important to me. and why i'm craving for even a tiny bit of it. but of course you won't.

i guess. it's just not for me. it's not my time yet. maybe, i have to wait a bit longer. and just smile perhaps. so, smile :)




.inspired from a song.

leaving :(

this is my last day staying here in this semester. i'll be back on November. pray from my safe return.

i woke up at 6 am like everyday today. i woke that person up and i pack my stuff. when i was about to finish, it started to rain and it still raining.
alhamdulillah :)

i'm going to sit for my last paper today which is CTU. and which i haven't study yet. uhhh ~
i will. not to worry. (still am worry actually ==')

huhhhh.. i'm bored and sleepy. maybe i over slept a few hours.. hm. why am i updating all this crap. okay, enough.


assalamualaikum wbt.

if you have a minute

i like studying here. i finally have a reason to wake up ever morning, walk to class and to love this place. i never want to leave. however, i'm just gonna be here for a year. no, almost a year. short short time for me to keep on liking this place. i love my classmates even though they don't really talk to me. i will surely miss my crazy gang, syud, ajmal and myra. i mean, there's too much in here for me to learn and love. and there's YOU. the one who would never fail to made my day. of course you wouldn't know. next year i have to say goodbye which i really hate. a short goodbye maybe. i hope i could see them again when i left. i feel like crying right now.








hope, i will hold to that. because people come and people go. you have to move someday. i love you guys. if you have a minute, would you sit down and talk to me?










and YOU

what should i do?

hello and assalamualaikum everyone

i know that it's been awhile
sorry for that.

two days before my final exam for semester one.
time, it's getting faster and faster everyday
and you don't even notice it.
i only have a few months remaining
for me to stay here. and i'm scared
and sad

i love being here. even though it's only for a year
i love this place.
i faced a lot here. i cried and laugh
and i learn to be who i want to be
i'm not ready to face my future
not just yet

and i'm scared

doa untuk ibu bapa

syukur

syukur alhamdulillah.
segala puji bagi Allah yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Mengasihani.
atas segala nikmat yang Kau berikan

Ya Allah, terima kasih sebab sedarkan aku sebelum terlambat.
Ya Allah, ampunilah dosa hambamu yang hina ini.

amin.