From teacher, to muallimah, to Miss Aliaa.

 Assalamualaikum. 

This is another journey in which I have to face another big change in my life. I really thought that I was going to stay where I was longer, although, at the back of my head, I always know that will never happen but I always hoped. So that's what I did, I hoped and prayed but Allah had better plans for me. 

I was so comfortable in my working space and my living that I have come into a state where I am no longer challenged to do anything that would help me grow as a person. Basically, almost stagnant or having very little improvement and learning experience. I can then, face everything that they throw at me. 

At the peak of my comfort, a challenge came knocking at my door and it literally dragged me to a different, more unfamiliar scene where I am back to zero knowledge of my surrounding. I had to start again and learn something new. It was terrifying! Everything move so fast and I need to catch up with everything and everyone. Everyone was above my league in most area and I don't know what to do. 

I cried for 2 days and had to dug deep to search for the strength that I know I have in me and pull it out. I got over the fear and basically just survive until I can walk on my own. It's such a different world where although they support each other, you kinda have to walk on your own. 

So, that's that. Pray that I get through this. 

Aamiin. 

From teacher to muallimah.

Being a teacher is not easy.

Once upon a time, abah asked me what do I want to be when I grow up and I answered ustazah. Sis. What? 😂 Okay hear me out. My family is the basic family where are exposure to Islam is limited to school exposure and kelas mengaji and such. Basic. So I tried my very best to remember why I answered ustazah when abah asked me that question.

Turns out, my previous ustazah was super nice. I was a bit slow in primary school, I couldn't read or write until I was 9 ish. So the rest of the teachers was basically lions lah cause tak habis habis muka yang sama je kena marah. And my mom has been called to the principal office more than once because I didn't complete my work. Yeah I don't know

But that ustazah never raised her voice or even rotan me. Those where the days when budak sekolah bleh dirotan. Haha good times. So yes, I remember her for her kindness and I want to be like that. A kind and loving teacher.

So now I'm a teacher, officially. It is NOT easy. I teach primary kids, like 7 and 8 year old and they can be handful sometimes. I love them so much and trust me, most of my energy were invested for them. I learn so much from teaching them and making sure they are learning something, even the smallest thing everyday. It's exhausting but rewarding at the same time when they get all excited when I entered the class, like every single day, they would wait for my period. As soon as I step in the class, they cheered. Literally. Took me 5 minutes to make sure they settle down haha but worth it. Seriously seronok ajar tahun 1. I love them. Dah la comel ahhhh I cannot

I kinda understand why my ustazah was the only one being nice to me because I would be frustrated too if I had to deal with that much nakal in one class. But my ustazah punya tahap kesabaran is really something else. It's amazing how she managed to keep the class in check and make sure that everyone ikut dan faham apa yang dia ajar. Amazing.

Still, I'm really trying to adapt. Every class is different and they need different approaches that would suit them. If you wish to be a teacher and I really need to say this up front, it's not for everyone, you need to have the highest level of sabar. And a sprinkle of fun. They would love you and would be so thankful for you. I mean, teachers are their second parents after all. They spend half of their time in school. Might as well, get to know each other kan?

 btw, we called female teacher - muallimah, in our school.

Dark pool.

I find that whenever I let myself be consumed by negative thoughts, it feels as if the world is small, the future seemed dark and time stood still. Nothing good came out and I found myself sinking deep into a spiral of dark and destructive thoughts with no way of turning back. These feelings resulted in me shutting myself out from the real world and just go with the flow of the current, taking me to wherever it wants. There are moments when I snapped and got back to reality where I can actually feel the emptiness.

Bismillah. Life updates

So..

I'm writing again while I wait for work to be done. As the title stated, this is the life update that I've been waiting to write, that I've wrote and never posted and that I somehow found it unnecessary to even blast out in the open for everyone to read because I was self conscious. yikes.

But here goes. I'm 27 this year. Life has been amazingly surprising. I would like to just mention, in case I didn't mention it before (couldn't recall), I've always had a life plan since I was in high school. It's quite basic where I aim to finish my study, work and buy my own home and somehow along the way, find a life partner. Something like that.

It didn't go exactly as planned as I didn't plan to continue my masters which I did and finished a semester late. So the initial plan got pushed back a few years but it's all good. I'm working now and actually love my job. It's exhausting and quite repetitive at times which made me bored more time than I wish to admit. But I pull through and betulkan niat. It's a responsibility and amanah so do it well. Alhamdulillah, getting by one day at a time.

 I have to say that most things are going well and according to plan except for love life. Okay, as funny as it sound, I NEVER had problems with my love life before but well oh well, I did. Since I never had that difficulty, I was struggling hard. I've tried everything to maintain a relationship, to end a relationship and to build a relationship. Yes, in that order, with different people. I guess the lesson I learn from this is, if it's not the right person, no matter how hard you try, it will never work. A hard lesson that I have to learn. I'm not going to go into details of the drama, crying and sad times but I must say, the good memories kept me sane. Kept me praying for the best, for all of us. If I'm being honest to myself, I would never go back to that moment to even try to fix things. I believe there was a hikmah for everything, that Allah is saving us from something we can never imagine. The sadness is temporary and I pray that the past will not hunt us, but teach us something good.

Phew, done with the heavy stuff. Now something light. I'm working on something big, the next step in my life plan. I'm trying to save up for many things right now like buying a house, marriage and travels. Big things that need more careful planning and trial and error. So I guess for now, that is all I can share? I guess? So in case I remember that I have this blog, I might update again like in the next two years 😂

So insyaAllah, pray for me.

Dearest

Dear Nabilah,

We, my sisters and I, had the conversation about who will my brother end up with for the longest time. We talked about it every time we picture what our future will be. You see, we are very close. Mama and Abah taught us to always love and cherish each other. We had our differences and we had our good times but most importantly, we always stand by each other. Now, Ami, being the only boy in the family, has always been the popular one. We always want a piece of him and he was usually annoyed and needed his time but being a good brother that he always is, he entertained all of us silly sisters without many questions asked.

We love him deeply. My early childhood is filled with memories of him by my side. Since we're a year apart, we usually do most things together. Though I'm sure that my sisters have a fair share of memories they share with him, I have mine too and I self-claim that mine are the best, hehe. But, truly, as I grow up and as we all grow up, I saw my bother become the man the he always wanted to be. Someone who is good to his family and friends. Someone who is smart and independent. Someone who is strong but also very lovable. Someone who is not afraid to stand for what he believe in.

And when he brought home a girl with him one day, we lost our familiar ground for a moment and for that moment, I felt betrayed. All my life I never thought that it would be this soon. That all of the years talking about the girl that would steal his heart, that fateful day, I would meet you. We were somewhat angry because he did not tell any of us about you but decided to keep you a secret. I honestly needed time to adjust to the whole feeling and it took me so long to like you, more accurately, to open up to the idea. Still, I felt betrayed but I love him so I gave him a chance and took my sweet time to accept your existence in our little but happy family. I guess part of me hated that surprise and that sudden change.

I cannot lie when I say that I did everything that I can to remain as distant as possible. The reality did not sink in yet, that we were about to lose our one and only prince. Trust me, it was hard on everyone. And I personally find that it was hardest for me. Changing is never easy. As time goes by, I slowly let you in but still keeping my guard up. And when the day finally come, the engagement day, I let go of every bad thoughts and leave everything to God. And the only reason that I did that was because of my brother. I saw it in his eyes. He truly loves you. He opened his heart for you. And that is the one thing I cannot stop him from doing, which is to love.

He has loved each and every one of us with all his heart and I don't have the heart to stop him from loving whoever he chooses because if you truly love someone, you would love the things and the people that your lover loves. And I love Ami and he loves you, so I will love you too, for him. In time, InsyaAllah, I would love you for you. You have made our one and only prince happy and that is all I ever wanted. Trust that he will make you happy too.

So Nabilah, no matter how much I resist, Allah knows best. Allah has put you in this earth for many things and one of those things is to love my brother, my Ami. We love him so much. Please take a good care of him as he will do the same to you as he always does to us. I humbly let you in our small but happy family and may you find happiness with us now part of your life. We are not perfect, I am not perfect, but we will always be there for one another, to love and to hold. If you are willing, I am more than happy to call you family.

love.

LIFE PLAN

I had a life plan when I was form 4. I remember sitting in class with my friends, talking about where we are heading after school and what do we want for our future to be like. I had small group of friends that have almost the same set of mind like I did. We wanted a future that suits ourselves. We talked about it almost every month, drawing our ideal future in our mind.

My plan was to finish school, continue my studies up to degree, get a job, save money to take care of my parents, travel, get married (probably) and continue life as is

Well, the plan as vague. I was 16, nothing was set in stone yet and I was still planning as I go but the main plan was as stated above. Nothing changes except when I finished my degree in TESL. I didn't know what to do after that. I had my plan but towards the end, things changes. First off, I didn't think that I was going to be a teacher. So the idea of going back to school to teach is somewhat new and I realize that the plan I had when I was 16 was somewhat flawed (obviously).

I did not take into consideration that there are many possibilities in life and I might end up where I least expected. I love teaching, I really do. The idea that I might be a teacher, a real teacher, one day seemed surreal to me when I finished my degree. I didn't complete my application to be a teacher but instead I applied to continue my studies. I am  now at the final stage of my master. By the end of this year, I'm done.

I'm back to the same stage where I need to move on to the next phase of my life, get a job. Part of me want to move on and part of me want to continue my studies. Both, in my opinion, would benefit me in the future but I had to choose one. I'm terrified. I wish I was as confident as I was when I was 16. Being young made you think that anything is possible. You aren't tainted by ideas of failure, you just go with it and try everything.

My friends have moved on to the work phase of their life long before I finish my degree. I admire their will to survive and to face life without fear. One of them even move to the marriage stage and I am so happy for each and every one of them. Me on the other hand, still figuring out my life

(update)
I wrote this months ago, it's may 2018 now and things have changed. I was worried but alhamdulillah rezeki came and I got a job offer so now the plan changes again. 16 year old aliaa would be proud! I'm still planning for the future, there are many possibilities and I will not stop learning. I'm going to continue with my studies. Pray for me, whoever is reading. thank you, much love 

Forgiveness

I forgive, for all the things that people did to me and I take that as a lesson. I know that life is not all sweet and I know that there will be days when pain and suffering will find their way to my door. I accept it and I treat them as equal. Yes, I believe that Allah gave me those things for a reason and it is something I have to live with so I don't see why I should feel bad about it. I understand that sometimes, I will find it hard to accept everything in one bite but trust me when I say this, I will one day. Slowly but surely. Do not feel bad for what had happened because I don't. 

As the saying goes, 

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional

So it's your choice.

Sorry for a short one, I have to let this one out. I'll write more. Till then, love. 

On marriage (AGAIN!)

Hello readers!

I had a talk with my sister the other day about marriage. Since she's already married, it's natural for her, as my older sister, to advice me to get married as soon as possible. I get her point and I respect her views but being me, I know that marriage is not something I would want to focus on at the moment. I know myself too well and I know that I can't settle down just yet. There's so much I want to do and though I know I can always do it with someone, a husband, by my side, it would not be the same as doing things on my own. 

I guess part of me wishes for freedom. Coming from a very strict family, I grew up fine but having lack of exposure to the real world, I kinda want to explore the world once I get the sweet taste of freedom. Although technically I don't have total freedom, I still get to view the world on my own. (sometimes without the knowledge of my parents. sorry mama abah) And talking about freedom, I don't mean that all this time, my parents kept me in, lock in my room, NO! I meant, my parents were more careful when deciding to let me out into the 'wild'. I totally understand their decision but it has its pros and cons. 

The kind of freedom that I want is not as big as you think. I just wanted to go to places without the accompany of my parents or family. Again, don't get me wrong, I love going to places with them but it's not the same as going to places on my own. You learn more things when you're alone and when you're with family, you don't really experience things first hand. I find that I don't know even the very basic thing on how to survive in the real world because I always have someone else to do it for me. I don't want to live that way and I don't wish to learn to depend on other people for everything. 

So, getting married is still in the to do list but I'm not in a rush to scratch that off my to do list. Trust me, like other girls, I do want to have my own family, have babies and what not, but if I don't get the chance to do this for myself, I will never learn. So this freedom is not so much of a freedom but more of a learning process. So I hope this will clear up why I wish not to think of marriage at the moment.

If you're going through the same thing as I am, I highly encourage you to follow your heart, Do whatever is best for you and don't let other people decide things for you that you know you can't follow. But take their advises sebab tak semua yang pahit tu racun. They love you, that is why they want the best for you. I hope you get what you need in the future and I pray for happiness for everyone. Jangan stress kalau orang desak suruh kahwin. Mintak orang yang desak awak tu doakan yang terbaik je untuk awak. Lepas tu forget everything, pergi travel, have fun, take pictures banyak banyak! 

kahkah

The Heart

Love, I learn, is not something you can work on. You can’t possibly work your way into someone’s heart like how you would climb a mountain. You can never do such things because unlike climbing mountains, you can always rest assure that there will be a point at the top of the mountain that you can reach and when you’re up there, the view will be great. It will be worth the time going up there with sweat and tears side by side as you try to reach your destination. 

Sadly, it is impossible to make someone love you. The heart is constant when it comes to love. The heart can love a person for as long as it allow itself to be. The heart can change but not when it comes to love. Once you love someone, there’s no turning back. You will love that person for the rest of your life even when you’re no longer together because when it comes to love, the heart doesn’t forget. The heart does not forget and even when they leave a bigger portion of their heart to someone else, there will always be a room for their past lovers. Why? Because the heart is kind and it takes in the beautiful memories and disregard the pain. Though the heart is kind, you still can’t work your way into it because the heart get to decide if it wants you to be in it and there’s nothing you can do about it. 

You’re nothing. Nothing.

I wish it would be as easy as climbing a mountain but even though you’re climbing the tallest, harshest mountain, it will still be easier than climbing into someone’s heart. 

Random Saturday

I'm happy. 

I was scrolling through Facebook today and I found out that most of my high school mates have moved on with their lives. Some are newlyweds, some expecting their first child and some happily working and chasing their dreams. I'm happy for each and every one of them. Seeing how much people have grown and how much they have changed into a better person made me happy on the inside, The fact that I know those people before made it even more sentimental. I'm just happy. 

I don't know how much I have changed but all I know is that I know myself better than I was before. I had to admit that I do want to feel what my friends are experiencing currently. I do want to have my own family. The one I can always go back to, a home. I want a job that I love and most importantly, I want to be happy. The idea is so sweet and even though I have absolutely no idea when that day will come, I still have faith. 

One day

Bridge

I feel like I'm on a long bridge that I'm currently going back and forth trying to cross it. I'm somewhere between the past and the present. I feel like this might be normal for people in their 20s because as they are growing up, they are realizing that they have to cross a huge bridge to adulthood. Yes, they do carry the title, 'adult' but they are mainly still under their parents' care and haven't actually live independently on their own. Some might but being new in this adult world, they still need some kind of guidance from actual adults whoever they are. I'm not saying that every people in their 20s face this kind of problems. Some do actually make it early and become a fully functional adults so kudos to them. 

What I'm saying is, this crossing over the bridge is real. We're still somewhat longed for our simple life as a child now that we've seen how complicated adult world can be but we also want to grow up and take control over our lives. It's a battle. And for me personally, I can't face the fact that I'm growing up. I have made a home in this uncomfortable bridge and decided to remain on it for as long as I can. Why? Because I'm hella scared. Taking control means taking responsibilities on whatever action you choose to shape your life and that is scary in a way that you might mess up. It's easy to mess up when someone else is in change because you can just say sorry and move on with your life while the people in charge will find a way to fix your error. However, you're in charge when you're a grown up. No grown up will fix a mistake of another grown up. They literally have their own to take care of. 

So..

Where shall we stand now? Should we cross it and take up whatever risk that might come our way or should we wait for a while? I really can't say. 

sorry

i fail.

POSSIBILITIES

possibilities

in life, I learn, there are countless possibilities. those possibilities changes from time to time due to several factors and usually you are the one responsible for each and every changes made and possible things that might occur.

I have also come to understand, fully, that everthing is uncertain. if there are countless possibilities in life, there ought to be countless paths in life that we can take which would only strengthen the understanding that everything is uncertain. and because of that, shouldn't we feel insecure or even afraid of what might or might not happen since, clearly, there's absolutely nothing that we can predict?

no. yes.

uncertainty will most definitely scares us. we will never know what will happen in the future. we could even die this very minute and yet, we live. we survive every day and start a new day again tomorrow. still, we would never know what the future might hold. but possibilities, possibilities make things interesting. you can never imagine what might happen to you in the future but that's fine because there's always a possibility that everything will be okay, that you might live to see another day again tomorrow.

but then again, there's a possibility where things might turn to worst and when that happen, you will know that you don't get to decide how you want your life to be. it's rather confusing at first, I know. I had to stop everything that I was doing and fully gave my attention to this matter when I first thought about it. of course, it the basic understanding in life that things are uncertain and there are countless possibilities in life yada yada yada but to truly understand and to except the fact is another matter.

it's whether you are capable of living your life and accept it as it is or not for you can never predict it but you can always live your life to the fullest and always be thankful for every possibility that comes your way be it good or bad.



I'm mumbling. enough for now

Letter to myself (2014)

Dear Aliaa,

When you feel distress about your love life and you feel like you just want to give up, remember that he's out there somewhere. He exist. When you have trouble finding him, remember that he is the one who is not selfish. He is modest and most importantly, humble. He is the one who would offer his hand to take you to see Allah. He will guide you and he will say that everything will be alright. He will lead, not you. He will come when you need him most. When Allah knows that that is the best time for you to notice him because he show you the side of you you forget. He will embrace you as you will support him. When you feel like it's taking too long for you to see him, just wait another day, month and even another year. Do not give up. Have faith

Students

During my practicum, I was quite close to my students be it the students that I teach or not. I find that I get pretty comfortable around those students than the teachers in the school. The teachers were all nice and they were very helpful in the process of helping me and my friends adjust in the school environment but somehow, I love having students around me than anyone else. I find that I have better connection with my students and I understand them better. 

I spend most of my time talking to students. Aside from the regular class, we were also assigned to relief classes and usually we would get the classes that we did not teach so whenever I go to those classes, I would rarely sit on the teacher's chair. I would go around the class and talk to each students. Sometimes, I would just pull any chair and sit in their group, just to talk.

They were curious about many things and so they ask a lot of things. I didn't mind silly questions because I know that if I don't entertain those silly questions, they might ask someone who have very little knowledge on it. In the end, they would get wrong answers. Might as well entertain it right? I love it anyways. Being teenagers, they love it when someone understands them. Coming from experience, I know that these kids want attention even though they would never admit it, 

You have no idea how close I am with them. The rest of the practicum teachers knew and they just let me be. Though some practicum teachers did warn me of being too close to with the students but I don't really mind it because I know the limit. I don't really care what people say because I was a high school student once and it changes me to the better when there was a teacher who understand and believe in me. I want to be that kind of teacher with those kids and so I gave a portion of my time to them because they need it. 

Now that my practicum has ended, I feel like I want to stay longer. I trust that my students will be fine and I have faith that they will be grow up to be good people. I hope that my little effort to understand them changes their life to the better as how my own teacher helped me change. 

next year

Not going to write that much since I don't know for sure but two big surprises are coming next year and I can't wait to write all about it. Till then, I might not write that much so pray that everything goes well. x

To be continue..

Still deciding on what to write

To a friend

This is for a friend of mine. I know that she's probably not going to read this but who cares. I want to write it out with a tiny hope that she will read it someday.

I first saw her when she was small. She had long beautiful hair that matches her smiling face. I knew it then that we would be best friends. I know from that moment on that we are going to spend a lot of time together and that's what we did. What I did not know was, she was going to change my life drastically. 

I was always fascinated by other people's life and I love observing them and how they go about their daily life. I would then compare it to my normal boring life. I have always thought that there was nothing special about my life when I was small and I grew up understanding that there might be something much more interesting out there. It was worth the time and effort to look for that 'life', I thought. I was immature of course and this little friend of mine caught my attention. She was the ticket, the ticket to a different life. 

So we became friends and we would see each other every day. We talked a lot too and sometimes our conversation would be so long and complicated that we have to continue to the next day. I love talking to her and listening to her stories about her life. Sometimes, I wish I could live her life and experience what it might feel like. She would tell me stories about her school and her family and to me, it sounded wonderful and how I would love to be part of it. 

I wouldn't call it an obsession. I would if it was but it wasn't because I wasn't obsessed with her. I was intrigued by her stories. However, this little desire of mine, to find a different life, took a terrible turn. I found myself consumed with jealousy. There's always a moment in a little girl life where she would be jealous of the things that she did not have. A girl could simply be jealous over a small things such as their friends' toy or something bigger such as their friends' beauty. I was one of those little girl. I was too, jealous. 

I know deep down that it was wrong to be jealous with what my friend have even though in my eyes it felt like she have everything and I have nothing, I still felt that it was not a good feeling to have. Unfortunately, I don't know how to express it or how to deal with it so I kept it, for years and year. I was jealous every time she has a new toy or when people gave her more attention. I was simply jealous and that jealousy grew and grew each year. I never said anything about it to anyone, even to her. 

It changes me. I was no longer the me that I know. I started wanting things that I could not have and even when I did get it, it was a hand me down kind of experience. Pathetic. But it was never her fault and I knew that. She was never at fault. She was always so kind to me. It was always me. I was never happy with who I am and I was the one who wanted more. Of course, at that time, I didn't know that I already have everything and my life was actually perfect. I didn't know of the struggles that she have to go through. I have always see her as someone happy but I never thought that she could actually feel pain and suffering. 

It was selfish of me because I have seen her cry and I have seen her went through tough times but I didn't take that as something serious. Stupid. Stupid Aliaa. My selfishness can go so far that I myself would not realize it. Now, realizing it, I can see her as who she really is, a human. A person with feelings and apparently have more imperfections than I could ever imagine. The perfect image that I always have of her seemed silly now because she was nothing more but a normal human being, just like me. 

This is not a confession from me to her. This is simply me trying to let go of what  have kept for so long. This is also not me being selfish. 

I love her up till now. I really do. She is a good friend of mine and I could not be happier that she was brought to my life. I want to always be her friend, in good and bad times. I love seeing her grow to become a lady that she is now. I have known her for so long and I know her strength and weaknesses. She is an amazing women. It is like the dramas and the movies where there's always that one beautiful girl that everyone likes, the one that will most definitely have a happy ending. She is the one. If you watch that kind of dramas and movies, you'll know. 

This is another personal entry but if you do get to this point, I hope that you'll learn something from my mistake. Till then. 

New Experience

Hello. I haven't write in a while and by 'a while' I actually mean a long time. I wish I have reasons to give as to why I did not write as much as I would like but truth be told, I simply forgot that I have a blog. Aside from that, my so called reasons would only be excuses which I think I should keep to myself instead. Putting that aside, (not that I owe anyone an explanation) I have come to realize that I need to share this thing that kept on bugging me since the first day I entered my class.

You see, I have high expectations when it comes to students and their level of achievements. I don't think much about their attitude because in my perfect world, I assume that with people with higher level of achievement should behave better than everyone else. Well, I was wrong and I actually know that but still, I had hope. So I positively go through my day expecting that everything will be fine and that I can go pass the limit of the traditional way of teaching in class, the chalk and talk, without any problem. Again, I am still wrong but this time, I did not expect that I will be wrong. My 'new' method of teaching did not go well and the first thing that came through my mind was, 'What did I do wrong?'. I kept on analyzing my own teaching and in some parts, I do admit that I did not do well and there are mistakes here and there.

Never have I ever point the cause of the failure to the students because I know that there are many causes of the failure and no one should carry all of the blame. Then, I realize that this whole experience is going to be tough and I would have to constantly improve myself to the better because I'm teaching living human beings. They are going to carry the knowledge that I gave them so I better give the very best. I know that it will never be easy and that I should lower my expectations because as much as I would want things to change, changes takes time. Students still learn through chalk and talk and they are still comfortable with that method with a small additional of discussion here and there. Therefore, however upset I am with the students, I cannot put the blame to them because partly, I have overly high expectations that they will be good in every way.

I should have known that but I still go through every day with high hope because I know that these students can do better and I know that they are capable of so much more.

Okay.. There, I said it and that is that. (at least for now)

DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. PLEASE

I'm in my final year of my study and I have a lot to say to some of you who knows me. (k, please don't be offended. or be offended. I don't mind really) 

1. When you're in a group or working in a group, you need to at least contribute something to the group. It's not fair for everyone else when you decided to not participate. 

2. If you're dissatisfied with someone, please don't make a big deal out of it and let everyone know about your problem. Unless you really need a second or third opinion or your problem requires you to share it with everyone. 

3. It's extremely awkward to not say sorry when you messed up. Just say it

4. It's extremely embarrassing when people know that you messed up but you act like nothing happen. Just say you're sorry. Please

5. Sometimes, you need to focus on what's going on around you (I'm talking to you aliaa)

6. Be nice to people, like generally, because you never know when you need their help

7. When people ask you something, give an effort to answer it or at least pretend like you care

8. Don't be mean. Sometimes you don't realize how mean you can be. 

9. Don't ever forget other people's kindness to you

10. When your friends did something terrible, don't abandon them or make them feel bad about it. They can change so help them, don't ignore them. 

11. You need to learn how to be independent

12. You can't always depend on your friends. They have their own life too

13. It's okay to be silly sometimes

14. Don't jump into conclusion. Investigate

15. Don't freak out over small problems that can easily be solve. Calm down

16. If you don't like someone's attitude, take time to have a one on one conversation with them and solve it

17. It can't be helped but if you can, try not to talk bad about other people. Especially your close friends

18. Don't take advantage of other people's kindness

19. Everyone has their own limits. 

20. Excuses are okay but don't overuse it. Once or twice is acceptable