it's normal i guess to have a child who is quiet as it is normal to also have a child that is active and cheerful. and it is right to say that every child is different in their own way. my quiet type is not a passive one. when i was a child, i like to observe people especially the so called troublemaker or the bully. there were consequences when you spend time with these people. i got bullied many times but somehow, i kept on being their friend. or, if not friend, a company. it was interesting as time went by because i get to see the real face behind that scary mask. they were not at all different than me or other kids that they have bullied. they were kind in their own way and most of all, they too have weaknesses.
i found out that listening is very powerful and that a simple company is basically what most people need. i guess that's why those troublemakers and bullies weren't afraid to reveal their true self to me. i was happy that i was the only one who knew their secrets and trust me, if i could betray them and give them back what they have done to me, it would be so easy. however, seeing that honest face, i couldn't. it is not in my nature to seek for revenge. i have a soft heart, i must admit so seeking a revenge was never on my list.
later on i learnt that all they ever needed was someone who would listen. me, being quiet and all somehow show that i am or could be a good listener. it was a little effort, to listen, but it meant a lot to them. i could not do more as i was only a child so all i did was listen and comfort them when needed.
i am still the same now. i listen and i am still quiet. but i take in everything that people do and say to me or to others. because i want to fill in that space in their life. i want to be someone who could fit in their unfinished puzzle of life and be the one they look up to when they need a bit of fresh air.
i wish to be able to see more honest faces.
i write this post because i want to remember that part of me. i tend to forget why i choose to listen sometimes and let people down in return. also, going back to my childhood and remembering how i was made me rediscover the sides of me i once hold dear. i hope with this, i would become a better person and a better me. it is not easy to do that now when there are so many things that made you forget who you truly are inside.
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