Hello. I haven't write in a while and by 'a while' I actually mean a long time. I wish I have reasons to give as to why I did not write as much as I would like but truth be told, I simply forgot that I have a blog. Aside from that, my so called reasons would only be excuses which I think I should keep to myself instead. Putting that aside, (not that I owe anyone an explanation) I have come to realize that I need to share this thing that kept on bugging me since the first day I entered my class.
You see, I have high expectations when it comes to students and their level of achievements. I don't think much about their attitude because in my perfect world, I assume that with people with higher level of achievement should behave better than everyone else. Well, I was wrong and I actually know that but still, I had hope. So I positively go through my day expecting that everything will be fine and that I can go pass the limit of the traditional way of teaching in class, the chalk and talk, without any problem. Again, I am still wrong but this time, I did not expect that I will be wrong. My 'new' method of teaching did not go well and the first thing that came through my mind was, 'What did I do wrong?'. I kept on analyzing my own teaching and in some parts, I do admit that I did not do well and there are mistakes here and there.
Never have I ever point the cause of the failure to the students because I know that there are many causes of the failure and no one should carry all of the blame. Then, I realize that this whole experience is going to be tough and I would have to constantly improve myself to the better because I'm teaching living human beings. They are going to carry the knowledge that I gave them so I better give the very best. I know that it will never be easy and that I should lower my expectations because as much as I would want things to change, changes takes time. Students still learn through chalk and talk and they are still comfortable with that method with a small additional of discussion here and there. Therefore, however upset I am with the students, I cannot put the blame to them because partly, I have overly high expectations that they will be good in every way.
I should have known that but I still go through every day with high hope because I know that these students can do better and I know that they are capable of so much more.
Okay.. There, I said it and that is that. (at least for now)